I started smoking again just to prove how over you I am.
I found 5 pointed stars in my bed,
Tore my sheets and poked microscopic holes in my mattress.
A dip in the terrain for every night you’ve spent.
I sleep over 3D maps and contemplate earthquakes now.
The mountains you created make knots in my back,
My lows don’t feel so low anymore;
While the highs,
Hurt a hell of a lot more
Than the lows
I missed the night.
I smoked passion flower,
left a water bottle open in my bag,
slept with lipstick and glitter
for 12 hours and it’s still not enough.
You were in my dream–
at least a part of you was.
My childhood fish friend decided to move in with me.
It’s always dark now,
in every dream,
Blue, Black, Grey silvers of light
form the non-existing moon bounce off of puddles and trees.
I want to hide.
I want to be seen.
I don’t know which one I want more.
I am surrounded by vomit,
When did everything I write become so dark?
I will be the ground you walk on.
Steady and true
When you get dizzy
You can lay your head down
And pour all your tears onto me
I will use them to grow a tree for you
You don’t have to get up;
I will cover you with moss and ivy
Let you sleep it off for the next couple decades.
When you awake
You will be softer than you once were
Cool to the touch
So when you try again
You may lay your head on me once more
and I will protect you.
I will continue to bloom trees in honor of you
Something new will be birthed
Because of you
You see, they think our tears are our weakness
They do not know
We are Earth
Do you have any idea how agitated I am?
I’ve white-knuckled, bare-knuckled, and bruised knuckle.
I’ve been angry since birth.