Enough

I missed the night.IMG_3698

I smoked passion flower,

left a water bottle open in my bag,

slept with lipstick and glitter

for 12 hours and it’s still not enough.

You were in my dream–

at least a part of you was.

My childhood fish friend decided to move in with me.

It’s always dark now,

in every dream,

Blue, Black, Grey silvers of light

form the non-existing moon bounce off of puddles and trees.

I want to hide.

I want to be seen.

I don’t know which one I want more.

I am surrounded by vomit,

hay,

and sleepiness,

and disappointment.

When did everything I write become so dark?

Advertisements

Quit gagging (it’s not what you think)

I thought seeing you would make me feel better,

but now I feel worse.

As if I didn’t hate them already.

As if I needed another reason.

I would tell you if it was your fault,

but it’s really not.

I would speak the words

if they didn’t make me so sick.

I would say them loud

if I wasn’t already gagging.

Some people make you feel worse

while some make you feel better.

 

Fresh

I was thinking about the Midwest.

White, orange, and black cars.

The color of the craft,

our New Year

Spotted on the first day of Summer.

Sometimes fresh starts aren’t always so fresh.

Sometimes they are hot and burning off scorching concrete.

Sometimes they are born on Midnight in the suburbs of Connecticut.

 

Six

I’ve been dreaming of Russian winters,

rescue planes,

taking 6-hour flights

for 45-minute brunches,

to show people how much I care.

Dashing red velvet ropes

for closed off areas

Grand marble staircases

Gathering troops

to hijack the castle

Waiting on snow

for the team to show up

and give me a ride

I have brunch plans in six hours.

City Beer Hall

Sleeping topless

I dreamt of city beer hall pasts

A brick wall splashed with soft lighting

A raging bull

An opening to different times 

Torn up pieces of paper, Free pizza

Nancy yelling at me to get in the cab

We were always going back when we should of been moving forward 

Time is a funny thing