Enough

I missed the night.IMG_3698

I smoked passion flower,

left a water bottle open in my bag,

slept with lipstick and glitter

for 12 hours and it’s still not enough.

You were in my dream–

at least a part of you was.

My childhood fish friend decided to move in with me.

It’s always dark now,

in every dream,

Blue, Black, Grey silvers of light

form the non-existing moon bounce off of puddles and trees.

I want to hide.

I want to be seen.

I don’t know which one I want more.

I am surrounded by vomit,

hay,

and sleepiness,

and disappointment.

When did everything I write become so dark?

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Quit gagging (it’s not what you think)

I thought seeing you would make me feel better,

but now I feel worse.

As if I didn’t hate them already.

As if I needed another reason.

I would tell you if it was your fault,

but it’s really not.

I would speak the words

if they didn’t make me so sick.

I would say them loud

if I wasn’t already gagging.

Some people make you feel worse

while some make you feel better.

 

27


Thick mud 

Dried raspberries 

Hangovers 

Blood 

And rotting gums 

Water weight 

Crossed eyes

Lazy eyesssss

Green teeth

Peacock hair 

The chariot 

The chariot

The chariot 

Lions and witches 

Melon 

Lapis 

Energy balls 

Violence 

Violence

Violence 

Lessons learned from not writing shit down 

Lessons learned from lightning 

SisterĀ 

I will be the ground you walk on. 

Earth.  

Steady and true

When you get dizzy 

You can lay your head down 

And pour all your tears onto me 

I will use them to grow a tree for you

You don’t have to get up;

I will cover you with moss and ivy

Let you sleep it off for the next couple decades.

When you awake 

You will be softer than you once were 

Cool to the touch 

So when you try again 

And fail 

You may lay your head on me once more 

and I will protect you. 

I will continue to bloom trees in honor of you

Each time 

Something new will be birthed 

Because of you

You see, they think our tears are our weakness

They do not know 

We are Earth